Making Friends In A New Country

Published - 09 January 2018, Tuesday

Moving to a new country has its trials and tribulations. Once you have arrived in your new home away from home, it’s time to put in place a few social deadlines. How long will you allow yourself to stay within your own community?

Expat Choice recommends consolidating your social connections for the first three to six months and throw yourself in head first. There is no shame in seeking familiarity when you first arrive. Join a chamber or association that reaches out to your own nationality. This is a great way to get in touch to what’s going on locally in business, sport, family and above all, gives you an immediate satisfaction of a social outlet where you will be craving the familiar, and of course the personal recommendations that come with the territory.

As time passes and you settle in, you can make more of an effort to integrate with local culture. According to InterNations’ extensive 2015 Expat Insider survey, based on data gathered from over 14,000 of its 1.9 million members around the world, 16 percent of expats report having primarily local residents as friends. Another 34 percent claim they have primarily expat friends with this figure increasing the younger the expat. The remaining 50 percent say they have a mixture of expat and local friends with expats 51 years and above generally having more local friends.

According to the Expat Insider Survey, the top five channels new arrivals make friends will be at work (64 percent), then your friends will introduce you to their networks (56 percent) followed by expat events (37 percent), professional networking (32 percent), then your local neighbourhood (28 percent).

When you move to a new country, this is the ideal time to start to think differently, common ground can be found with almost anyone. Friends don’t have to be the same age or from a similar background. When you open your heart and mind to new observations, you will find a new perspective, one that just might ignite some inspiration or creativity.

Many expats have found a new perspective on life so be open for change and allow yourself to be resourceful in your new home. There is a surge of Women’s focused groups and association in Asia. In Singapore alone networks such as Business Women Network, Athena Network, Executive Lifestyle, to name a few - draw interest from the emerging entrepreneurs market. There are dozens of location-based expat groups on Facebook and LinkedIn.

In Singapore Real Singapore Expat Wives is extremely popular with over 12,000 Members in its community. Local expat bloggers can be a great source of information and if you want to meet like-minded people who share similar hobbies and interests then there’s no easier way than to take a class or join a sports team.

Starting a new job will always be challenging so you need to keep your expectations realistic. Not everybody is going to end up being your best buddy in the workplace, so don’t fear rejection. It’s ok to grab a coffee and have an informal chat with a colleague at lunch time or visit art gallery, attend a free lunchtime concert or entertain a meal with new acquaintances, but you don’t have to become joined at the hip!

Ensure you follow leads from friends, colleagues and your new neighbours. Every opportunity to connect is an opportunity to discover your new environment. Volunteering and community events are always good connectors. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! In our home country we are generally more self-sufficient.

We have our established communication and informational eco-system be it an iPhone for news feeds or your immediate personal social network. In a new country it’s important to be more outgoing and ask strangers for directions and even advice. Catch people’s eyes and be approachable. At events mingle as much as possible, pass your business card on first meeting (and take a moment to read the name and title on the card) and then strike up a conversation.

Remember to use names, both yours and theirs, many times in the conversation, choose groups over individuals and never be that guy who boasts about all your achievements and travels. Listen actively and acknowledge others in the conversation. A good word of advice, “you have two ears and one mouth – use them in that proportion.”

It’s also OK to be on your own, actually it can be a blessing in disguise. Learning to spend time alone can be beneficial to your new found state of mind and allows you to discover your new home. Sit at a café, do some people watching or read a book, you might find yourself at peace with the world. Partner or no partner, its inevitable you will find yourself having to defend for yourself, and on your own from time to time. Make the most of it!

Last but not least, leaving your friends and family will probably be one of the toughest things you ever do, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Keep your good friends close and remember to contact them from time to time. It’s not so hard these days with FaceTime, Skype and the likes. Things do take time to fall into place.

Family or flying solo, there will be challenges. Embrace change, go with the flow and remember - you are in a new town and not everything is familiar. Allow yourself time to adjust.

Brought To You By Expat Choice

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